Treat him like a stranger

While I should be working, I’m instead browsing through Pinterest.

My mom and I are going to do a 5 day taco cleanse (yes you read that correctly) so I’ve been looking at recipes to make. More to come on that adventure later.

Anyway, while scrolling I came across a pin that peaked my interest even though it had nothing to do with tacos. It was a picture of a beautiful bride with a caption that read, “Do you treat your wife worse than a stranger?”

As someone who has been planning my wedding since the ripe age of 10, I’ve always been interested in marriage, so of course I had to click on this link.

It took me to a blog titled, “Confessions of a Terrible Husband”

Who is the last person you held a door for?

Who is the last person you thanked for doing exactly what you expected from them and nothing  more?  For doing exactly what they were supposed to do?

Like a real thank you.  Not just “thx” in a “txt msg.”

Sadly, both of my answers were “a stranger” for a long time.

As I read on this got me thinking about my own relationship. Being the girl in the relationship, I didn’t really ever do things like hold doors open for him like I do with strangers (though I could), but I realized that there are things that I do towards strangers that I don’t always do towards him. Mostly these things revolve around my beloved attitude.

Towards strangers, regardless of my mood, I’m always happy and positive. I will always flash a smile or give out “have a great day”s like they’re candy. I like to be the girl that someone walks away from and thinks, “wow, she was a nice”.

So how come that’s not always the case around my boyfriend? I tend to be moody around him. I notice myself frowning when I should be ecstatic to be with him, or sometimes I talk with the hidden mood that I get from my mother. The more I think about this the more I realize the underlying issue: comfort.

I’m comfortable around my boyfriend. He’s the one person in the world who very truthfully knows every single part of me and still loves me enough to stick around. I’m not ashamed of how I look around him and I don’t feel obligated to act a certain way when I’m with him, because I know it won’t change the way he feels about me. I am no longer in the phase of trying to impress him with my charm and wit, I know I’ve already done it.

While being in this phase of a relationship is amazing, this comfort comes with a price. Just last week my boyfriend and I had this exact conversation that sometimes we don’t seem to act like a couple. The “honeymoon” phase ended a long time ago for us, but does that mean we have to stop acting like it? We aren’t even married (yet) and this has already posed as a challenge.

I want to start treating my boyfriend like a stranger again. Though we’ve never really been strangers because we grew up together, I want to treat him as if he’s brand new to me and I’m desperate to keep him. I want to show him how much I love and appreciate him not in just the little things I can do for him, but mostly in the way I act around him. I know he didn’t fall in love with me because of my strikingly good looks. I know that he loves me because of my humor, the joy I find in life, my hardworking attitude, and my kindness. I know these things because he’s told me. Now, I want to prove it to him that I haven’t lost those things in the 3 years we’ve been together.

It’s time to start crushing on my boyfriend again. We still have a long life ahead of us together, and the most exciting thing about our relationship is that it’s still barely the beginning.

What are some ways you still treat your significant other like a stranger?



Author: Mal Williamson

Hi I'm Mal (short for Malorie). I'm a senior at the University of Wyoming studying journalism and professional writing. Colorado native, I'm a firm believer in the outdoors and will find any excuse to be on a horse. I'm rarely alone, as I usually have my boyfriend of almost 4 years by my side, and if you can't find us hiking up the nearest mountain we are usually at a taco place ordering one of everything. If I'm unable to fulfill my lifelong dream of being an actress on SNL, hopefully you'll be reading my articles in the local newspaper someday.

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